“You’re such an incredible influence in my life!”
“Have I told you lately how great I feel when you’re around me?”
“Wow, what an amazing job you did on that project!”
The power of compliments can’t be measured, but the effect they have on the human psyche is indisputable. Almost drug-like, the sensation one feels when they’re being complimented can often heighten or change the momentum of their day. More importantly, people who compliment others on a regular basis are perceived as positive and often attract a higher frequency of attention from family, friends, co-workers and significant others. In other words, that old saying, “Flattery will get you everywhere” is totally true!
So, my question to you is: “Do you compliment the people in your life enough?”
Becoming a master communicator includes a number of key elements, but none are more important that looking for a ways to bond and connect with people. Compliments not only make people feel good, they communicate that you’re in tune with that person and paying attention to what’s going on in his/her life. After all, each of us likes to feel special. The joy of giving compliments is that it doesn’t take much effort, and it can quickly turn you into a “people magnet.” Compliments are also a great tool to use as a conversation starter. Think about it…when’s the last time someone gave you a compliment, and you responded by terminating the conversation? I’m guessing never. So, if you have a relationship–either at home or at work–that could use a boost, try complimenting the person and then pay attention to how that individual responds to you.
A number of my clients have utilized this technique on the job and remarked what a positive effect it’s had both on their workplace relationships and the work atmosphere itself. That’s not all that surprising if you think about it. When folks get positive feedback, their attitude also grows more positive. And when folks feel good about themselves and their accomplishments, productivity almost always increases because they are motivated to accomplish even more. Need I mention that when productivity is on the rise, profits also tend to soar?
When it comes to romantic relationships, the path to a higher frequency of intimacy can be paved with compliments. In our daily routines, we often go about our business and focus on the routine tasks of work, kids, home or what’s for dinner. Those tasks often fill our days, and before we know it, it’s time for bed. We’re then often left wondering, “What’s happened to our love life?” Well, intimacy is all about feeling connected. Telling her how beautiful or sexy she is, (or him how handsome he looks), how thankful you are to have each other in your lives, or how much you love him/her can go a long way in sparking the flame of passion.
One critical caveat: Compliments must always be heartfelt and genuine. Otherwise, all of the positive benefits associated with them could backfire.
One final bonus: Whether at work or at home, the more compliments you give, the more you’ll receive. For this reason—and many more–I encourage you to make an effort every day to compliment the people in your life who are important to you. You’ll be amazed at how good it feels!